I LEARNED WHILE EARNING journalism awards with Anchorage’s grassroots-based media outlet, Alaska Commons, the job of a journalist is to present accurate information and analysis: to answer questions. The goal isn’t to raise questions. Reporters ask questions and then translate the answers in terms their Readers can understand. Today, for this subject, I cannot do that. (I wish I could.) The most I can provide is a shared exploration.
By exploration, I mean, you and I are going to walk around these ideas together. No clearly laid out argument. I am inviting you to a conversation, if you may.
Wading in Healing Waters
Since coming to Ashland, Oregon, I’ve devoted a lot of my time to the subject of healing. My childhood in Anchorage, Alaska is/was traumatic. Born in 1974, I am the byproduct of the Last Frontier when Anchorage was a small hamlet of only 50,000 persons. Alaska was then, and is now, number one on a list of heinous crimes against persons. All my life the Land of the Midnight Sun has led the United States in drug consumption per capita, sexual assault, domestic abuse and suicide. No one can grow up in said environment without suffering some of the ill effects. I am no exception.
Because I know I operate in/from/through trauma, I cannot present an objective argument. I will continuously refute any claim to mastery. In my most mature state, I view myself as just now, after 20 years of personal work, resurrecting out of victimhood. American society invests a lot of currency into victim stance. (It’s not sexy, however, it does open the door to a lot of sex-based relationships. Later for that discussion.)
From my lived experience, here is my thesis, which I would like to explore: healing is an act of lovemaking.
Allow me a few minutes to explain myself, before your reactive mind kicks in with a counterargument refusing my thesis. By lovemaking, I do not mean exclusively the sex act. Just like “peacemaking” doesn’t mean exclusively conflict resolution. It leans more towards the Christian idea of “standing in the gap.” Peacemakers are willing to put themselves in the middle and prevent, or stop, an active act of injustice. Likewise, with lovemaking. It is the putting of oneself in the middle to catalyze a moment/experience of healing.
Truth be told, I don’t need you, meaning another person, to heal me anymore than I need another person to give me advice when I am facing an interpersonal problem. I am grown enough to process my thoughts and emotions in relationship to any problem which arises in my life. What I need is your presence and calm confidence. If given sufficient time, I will come to the conclusion myself. After all, I am the one with the problem and I am the one who has to resolve it. I am the active will creating the ripples necessary to facilitate my own growth and development. I have the capacity to heal any psychological or emotional wound; I know the way. I seek companionship.
I tell this story when the subject of the healing process comes up.
A Modern-Day Parable
For all intents and purposes, the following story is apocrypha. I do not know it is historical FACT. It is belief and I believe this story did happen.
Minister Louis Farrakhan spoke at Coretta Scott King’s funeral. Upon leaving the funeral, surrounded by the Fruit of Islam (FOI), along with his bodyguards, a voice was heard calling his name. It became stronger and more urgent as the voice came closer. Looking to his left, the Minister and bodyguards see what appeared to be a homeless brother pushing through the crowd to reach him.
The brother made it to the FOI and tried to break past them to reach the Minister. The FOI resisted, until the Minister waved them aside and gave permission for the brother to come forth. The brother reeked of cocaine leaving his system. (True ghetto-dwellers know what scent it is that I am referencing.) He was also crying profusely.
“Minister Farrakhan! I was waited my whole life to meet you,” the brother said through sobbing heaves. “I love you, Minister Farrakhan!”
Having joined the Nation of Islam in July 1955, the Minister is used to such treatment. He cradled the brother and said softly, “I love you more!”
“I promise, Minister Farrakhan, I am not going to smoke crack anymore.”
“I believe you,” the Minister said. Then, he motioned for the FOI to help the brother return to the crowd.
Now, we don’t know where the brother went, however, in my imagination, I believe he crawled back to whatever he called “home” and went through withdrawals by himself. Rumor has it, when he showed up for the next Mosque meeting, the condition the brother presented inspired those FOI who received him to begin weeping.
The Function of the Divine Feminine
Here’s my breakdown of the process. I don’t know anything about a “rock bottom.” If those “things” occur, I have yet to see an addict in Anchorage, Alaska or within the African American tribe hit it. I think we already live at the bottom. We have nothing left to hit. So, healing comes after an emotional current flows through a person strong enough to crack open their heart chakra. Meaning, the person who wishes to be healed has to fall in love with either themselves or an object of affection. Usually, it is the object of affection. This explains why the most common experience of those who visit the Minister is the effusive release of tears. (See the scene in Spike Lee’s “X” when Malcolm visits the Honorable Elijah Muhammad. Malcolm streams tears just standing in the Messenger’s presence and holding his hand.)
Once the person who wishes to be healed feels reciprocity, he or she goes on the hero’s journey to free himself/herself of the addictive habit or character flaw. The person crafts a story (personal myth) for themselves as they go on this journey. Freedom from the addiction/flaw is the boon he or she gains from the experience. A boon is the wisdom, or insight, internal psyche/emotional-based healing provides. He or she is obligated to share what they just learned, as an act of service, to those who are suffering from the same affliction(s).
Healers are magnetic because they learned how to crack their heart chakra open whenever they are visited by a personal block towards acceptance of reality or severe emotional pain over a situation/condition. The outer manifestation is a reflection of their inner world. The only way into divinity is by walking through the door of emotion. Consequently, most healers of psychological or emotional pain are women.
Western society conditions us to view cracked open heart chakras through two lens: romance and family. In one word: commitment. There is a certain safety arising from the promise of longevity which inspires those of us who are experiencing the cracking of our heart chakras, against our will, to cease resisting the process. (Thus, there is no need to reach a rock bottom. Instead, there is a need for commitment.)
Hence my thesis. In the Western mind, healing a psychological wound happens inside of two emotional environments: romantic relationships and/or familial bonds. This is lovemaking, or the intervention of the Lover upon the Beloved, however those roles are defined.
Healed persons stand out in a world of the blind, deaf and dumb. A healed person looks like a miracle. He or she speaks wisdom and transformation into every situation he or she is involved in. Why? They refuse to repeat the trauma to themselves. Those who come into their presence temporarily choose to stop traumatizing themselves also. Persons leave at a higher vibration than before coming into a healed person’s presence.
The healed person is not better, as a moral human being, than the person who is comfortable in their trauma. The healed person is vibrating at a different rate than the traumatized personality. A life-affirming rate.
I’m not saying, for the sake of conversation, that I am a healed person. I know where I am actively healing, as I am the one having said experience. And, you are having your experience. I choose to heal. I invite you to begin your own journey.
We can choose to crack open and heal together.
Words by Kokayi Nosakhere, who chooses to spend the majority of his time in search of magnificent minds. If you are one of them, please choose to reach out at royalstar907